Spring is here - So am I

Dear Friends,

It has been almost a year ago since I wrote anything on the Rhythm Blog. Although I did not post anything here, I have been doing lots of research, reading and some writing too and did not forget about You for a minute! I have always heard the little voices inside my head, reminding me of those who read and commented on my first few posts on this blog.

So many things have happened to me during these many, many months but finally, I managed to organise my creative life and thoughts and took the time to write something for you. 

I hope you will like the first part of my new short story sequence; I decided to spice up the blog a little bit and will write something new and different apart from the usual lifestyle related posts.

Thank you for your patience and for all the support! Enjoy Spring and Happy Reading! 

picture: Pinterest

Tool-Kit to Surviving Crisis

On the way to living the life of your successful and happy self, you will experience critical moments from time to time in spite of any careful planning or preparation. Every day is a new one and your circumstances may change occasionally. The weather, a bad-hair day, catching the flu, your period, your colleague’s remark, your friend’s unexpectedly long call, an e-mail with bad news, etc. might all affect your mood; it is up to you in what way. It is hard to resist and stick to your newly created habits/diet and daily/weekly routine if some unpleasant events appear in your life. However, it is not impossible, especially if you saved up some motivation and willpower from the times when you kick-started the whole process and felt energetic, powerful and unbeatable.

In the beginning of your lifestyle changing project you are armed with a strong and solid intention and due to this, your motivation levels are above the clouds. Yet, they can easily drop, especially in case of some unfavorable happenings. Whenever you feel stressed, overwhelmed and are about to give up, stop for a second or two. It is so easy to get lost in the rat race. Due to the challenges of your job and/or private life, you are likely to forget about what you really want in life. You need to slow down sometimes and ask yourself, what makes you really happy? Take your time to remind yourself of the reasons of your aims.

• Why did you want to change?
• Why did you start the whole process?
• What have you done so far in order to reach your goal?
• Were your efforts successful?

Be objective and make a list of all the successes that you have gained since you started to put your plans into action. Try to overcome failures quickly knowing that these are just part of your development. Show gratitude; accept what you have reached so far and what you have got at the moment; no matter how few you think you own. Being impatient and greedy will not help you. On the contrary, appreciating the moment and practicing self-love will support you in surviving the difficult periods when you lack motivation. Actually, a small inventory of your recent successes, a quick reminder of your original plans and a little revision of your strategies can keep you going. Relax, take a deep-breath, think a little bit and don’t forget to re-charge your batteries and Voilà: Welcome, my good old friend, Enthusiasm.

Now that you are freshly inspired by your own happiness about your recent results, keep in mind what Maria Brilaki suggested in her latest article. She presented some of the features that differentiate successful people from those who will never succeed. The essence of this video could also be related to this subject. A short summary of the main characteristics of successful people based on these two sources:

1. they stick to their passion
2. they never complain
3. they avoid being negative
4. they don’t give up

Easier said than done, right? Yet, this is their secret, it is so simple and you can do it too.

Until you reach this level where you are in the flow of happiness and success, you are going to work hard on yourself day by day. You can choose the difficult way with fears and insecurity by setting up unrealistic goals and overwhelming yourself with complicated tasks OR you can try easy: you can create a motivating, supporting and loving environment with using positive and inspiring triggers that help you stick to your goals. If your plans are realistic and you are willing to start with small steps, you just need to follow your strategy but don't forget to be flexible and adaptable in case of inconvenient conditions. Now, all what you need is to be social. Share your ideas, plans and latest results with friends and family, so that they can act as mentors or supervisors and can celebrate with you as well. To get you going, you can actually “use” human triggers apart from the tools mentioned above. They can check-in on you regularly and give you some support in the most critical moments.

Summary: Accepting what you have, being patient and showing gratitude can increase your motivation levels in difficult times when you are about to give up. If you create a supporting environment and always choose positivity, success is guaranteed. Prepare for the worst: when you are enthusiastic, spare some motivation for times when you are close to throw in the towel. Finally, ask your friends or family members to help you when you need some extra inspiration. That’s it! 

Sources:
Brilaki, Maria: Surprisingly Unstuck              Kaiser, Shannon: Find Your Happy!

The Four Secrets of Living a Balanced and Beautiful Life

Few months ago on a cold and chilly day in December I was having my morning coffee, browsing on the internet and thinking about my life. That time, I was not happy at all: I did not like my job; I felt useless and thought that no one appreciated me or my efforts. I did not have much free time, however I spent my days off solely with things I had to do but did not enjoy the least, such as grocery shopping, cleaning and doing other household chores. I felt guilty and missed my “previous life” when I felt good, was able to find the time for exercising my creative skills, doing regular workout and meeting friends who really inspired me. 

After I moved to a new country and faced some challenges and unexpected difficulties, I started to lose my interest in my own passions. I felt isolated and simply being stuck into a life that was not exactly the one that I could relate to myself at all. I made a list of things that I was not happy with that time and another one including everything that I am grateful for, my small and big successes from the present and the past. I only needed two slips of paper and a pen. Yet, the mental work that I did became the base of my motivation to finally initiate some serious changes in my lifestyle. I would really recommend doing a little self-analysis to anyone who feels that things are not going quite right in their career and/or private lives. Although recognizing that you need to change is only the first step of a long, exhausting and risky journey, it is the main and most powerful trigger that will keep you going through the process.I made a list of things that I was not happy with that time and another one including everything that I am grateful for, my small and big successes from the present and the past. I only needed two slips of paper and a pen. Yet, the mental work that I did became the base of my motivation to finally initiate some serious changes in my lifestyle. I would really recommend doing a little self-analysis to anyone who feels that things are not going quite right in their career and/or private lives. Although recognizing that you need to change is only the first step of a long, exhausting and risky journey, it is the main and most powerful trigger that will keep you going through the process.

Now, I would like to share the Four Secrets that I encountered at the beginning of my journey towards discovering my real passions:

Experimenting

Regardless what changes you want to invite into your life, you will take risks and decisions that might result in failure. As soon as you step outside of your comfort-zone, you will feel vulnerable and think that “everyone else is doing better than you”. Either you enroll yourself to a course in photography or take up yoga; you will be a beginner in the first times. Starting a change involves making mistakes of which most of us feel ashamed and humiliated. Remember that if you are afraid of adventures and do not dare to experiment, you will never find your true passion, thus you will never experience real happiness and could not live a wholesome life.

Asking for Help

Everyone has been a beginner many-many times in their lives and they always will be from time-to time. No one thinks that it is ridiculous that you cannot do 60 minutes hardcore workout every day or that you should feel ashamed for not knowing how to take a good picture. Others with more experience have good intentions and are happy to give support for those in need. Believing in yourself is the most important thing regarding your happiness but trust in others is also essential. Instead of isolating yourself into perfectionism and self-pride, be social and brave enough to ask for help. Do not feel ashamed of your temporary incompetence or limited results! As your yoga-pals or the other members of the photo-class were once beginners as well, they still remember the challenges of the early days and are looking forward to help you. Accept your limitations but aim for improvement! If you feel overwhelmed, do not be afraid to talk about your problems and turn to other people; they are ready to support you.

picture: Pinterest

Dare to Fail!

While discovering your special talents and developing your skills, it is inevitable to make mistakes or take decisions that sometimes lead to unfavorable outcomes. Accept your failures and be objective! See, analyze and learn from your faults but do not waste too much time with self-doubt and feeling guilty because of having said something wrong, eaten something sugary or skipping your exercise. There are no good or bad decisions, things are not black or white in life. Taking risks might feel unpleasant from time to time but you will not be able to succeed without acknowledging both your failures and successes.

Be Adaptable!

Lifestyle change not only requires planning and organization, but patience and flexibility as well. It is essential to have a strategy in order to convert your old, harmful habits into beneficial ones, but from time-to-time you might need to revise your plan. As you and your general circumstances change, you will have different aims or expectations. If you realize that training in a gym makes you feel uncomfortable, try exercising at home or in the park. As soon as the 15-minutes exercise proves to be to easy for you, do 30 minutes workout every other day! Similarly, if you do not enjoy the journalism course, because you don’t like to read aloud your articles in public, then start a blog and practice writing on your own in the comfort of your home. Whatever new habit you try to employ, make sure that you enjoy the process and be adaptable; planning and organisaton is good but you might want to stop for a minute sometimes and see the results.  Ask yourself how do you really feel and add new or remove undesirable elements. The main thing is to feel good!

Journaling, self-analysis, researching about topics that you are interested in, regular exercising and mental workout can all guide you in the way to find your passion. Since I have been practicing all the above, I have become more familiar with my strengths, skills and talents and managed to invite positive changes in my life. I am simply happier and feel more confident. I found a job where I feel useful and appreciated and spend my free time with things that I really enjoy doing. 

Thanks to the Four Secrets, I have a healthy approach to difficulties in my life and feel being totally in charge for my own happiness.

Why you do not Have to Fight Insecurity?

Insecurity is a natural human feeling and is there in everyone in order to protect us from REAL danger. Danger is real when your life is literally threatened by someone or something. For example, you are in the street in the middle of the night and have a feeling that someone is chasing you. Suddenly, you become worried and try to figure out what to do. Your heartbeat and breath starts quickening and you speed up your steps as much as you can, in order to save your own life. You can experience very similar bodily responses and worrying thoughts in case of a difficult exam, e.g.: you don’t feel very confident because you think that you have not prepared properly and are afraid of unexpected questions and not being able to pass the test. You also have some bad memories of other exams in the past that you failed. As a consequence, you are getting more and more anxious, nervous and feel very insecure. Simply, you do not believe in your ability to succeed. In this case, it is obvious that your life is safe, yet some nasty psychological barriers are blocking the free flow of your positive thoughts. You doubt your skills and strongly believe that you will fail. Thus, you will.

It is not surprising that with your negative thoughts you invite negative results, is it? Due to your false beliefs, you already see yourself not passing the exam. However, envisioning the positive outcome of some future events can result in your success! Instead of doubting your skills, why do not you support yourself? Good news is that with some preparation and practice you can easily handle any stressful situation without feeling insecure and your success is guaranteed.

You only need to do ONE thing: PLAN!

picture: Pinterest

Let’s continue the example of the difficult exam: you already know the date of the exam well in advance, so you know how much time you have got to study. Prioritize your chores and make a plan! Divide the course material into various segments and decide how much time you would need daily in order to acquire all the knowledge necessary for succeeding. You can also add some other activities to your daily routine, such as making and having some healthy and nutritious food and doing some workout and/or meditation as a reward for doing your job well. Celebrate a little bit after having fulfilled a certain part of your lessons. Also, make sure that you start studying when your motivation is high. Starting with small and easy steps can be really beneficial. Similarly, if your study-amounts are not overwhelming and can be easily learned during the time-periods that you set up for yourself, your success is sure. Just make a detailed plan including everything that is important in your life.

So, you already have a study-plan, a strategy. In your breaks you do some other activities (exercising, meditation) just to clear up your mind. What else would you need?

Think positively and believe in your success while planning already!

Believing in yourself is not as easy as it sounds and similarly to the exam, it requires preparation. As most of us have been practicing negative thinking, such as self-doubt for many-many years, it will take time to change your worrying thoughts to supporting ones. However, thanks to your plan and preparation, soon insecurity will simply fade away; so you don’t even have to fight against it! Accept your present insecurity but set up a strategy to change your way of thinking. Focus on your talents and strengths and remember that just because you failed an exam last time, you can pass another one this time, as now you are well-prepared.

With the help of positive thinking, preparation and practice you do not have to spend time and energy with fighting your fears or trying to beat insecurity. Setting up small, realistic goals, along with your individual strategy will surely result in success. All you need to do is changing your thinking habits. Prepare and believe in the positive outcomes of your actions. There is no real danger, no negative thoughts, thus, there is no insecurity! It is so easy with planning and gradual preparation. You do not have to fight. Just discover and accept your skills and make your unique, individual plan in order to realize what you are dreaming about.

Make a Habit of Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is a habit and you can create it for yourself. It will take some time and you will have to practice it regularly until it becomes automatic and part of your everyday life but it is worth as it can really set you free and move you towards your real purpose. There are plenty of experiences, impressions and assumptions that usually influence your thoughts. Other people’s opinions, criticism, feedback from your supervisors, social expectations, media, etc. all affect the picture that you have in mind about yourself.

image: Pinterest

We all have beliefs; however beliefs are tricky because they are just psychological barriers and have nothing to do with reality. Our assumptions about ourselves are mostly based on other people’s reactions to our existence in the world. If you try to be objective with yourself and decide to test the beliefs that you have about your personality, skills or ability, you will see that your true self has not so much in common with that person who appears as “you” in front of your family, friends or colleagues. Remove the “noise” (negativity, fears, false beliefs, etc.) and try to examine your thoughts as if they were another person’s views about herself. It is hard to see yourself as an outsider but this way and with some time and practice it is possible to be positive and objective about yourself.

Fear and false assumptions distract you from being able to focus on the thoughts that can really move you forward. Change your inner dialogue and approve of yourself. Celebrate your results every day, no matter how small or big they are. Give some more support to yourself by letting negativity go. Practice positive thinking every day and create a new habit that will help you to see and enjoy the whole process called LIFE.

How will you start praciticing positive thinking?

What is the Reason Behind your Failures and Unsuccessful Efforts?

Referring to the previous post, I would like to encourage you to check out Maria Brilaki’s website and watch her video about the power of your thoughts, especially your inner dialogue’s effect on your achievements.

You might have experienced in your life either getting wrong or just few results or not getting results at all. I guess that you have. I honestly have never ever met anyone who has not made any mistakes or wrong decisions in their lives. Although it is really difficult to be objective with yourself when you are in the middle of a crisis, it could be extremely helpful if you tried to support yourself and change the way how you think about your (under)achievements. In the video, Maria suggests to analyze your inner dialogue preceding your decision to take certain actions that lead to failure afterwards.

“If you get bad results, it is because you did not believe in the first place that you can get good results”- says Maria.

If you are practicing self-doubt and are questioning your own success, you waste lots of energy and are not fully focused and committed to achieving your goals. If you change your way of thinking and truly believe that you can get what you want, you are more likely to develop and succeed in the end. This is because you are triggered by the so called “PositivePull”, namely you are not escaping from something negative that you want to avoid; it is exactly the opposite: you are motivated by your self-supporting, positive attitude towards yourself and others. Whenever you enter this circle of your own positive thoughts, you are in the flow and wonderful things will happen!

photo: Pinterest

Before you decide to change or do something, you need to be confident and committed; you need to believe that your actions will lead to success. If you want to live a healthier life, for example, you decide to exercise regularly and eat fresh, healthy and clean food. It sounds so simple, however so many of us have been yo-yoing and giving up diets and sports after a while. The reason why you have not been able to keep doing what you decided to do is that you did not believe that you would be able not to give up your dreams. If you are really focused before you start taking any actions, you are not second-guessing yourself. You are 100% committed to and positive about getting what you want. It can be a healthier and better-looking body or your dream job. If you are insecure and do not believe that you can get a certain job, you are more likely to fail in the interview; simply because you had negative thoughts about yourself and were convinced that you are not qualified or suitable for that position. Maria’s message in this video is the following: 

“You need to believe that you can achieve anything but you need to believe it BEFORE you get it.”

Soon, I am going to introduce you to Caroline Zwick’s really effective method and we will learn how to practice the Positive Pull.