Finding your Rhythm

It happened many times in my life that I really struggled with making choices and my things were not quiet right at all. I strongly felt that I needed to change but didn't know what and how to start at all. What is more, whenever I arrived to a major crossroad, and actually had to decide about something , I became confused, started to panic and worried about the consequences of making “wrong” decisions. I already envisioned myself living an unsuccessful life, suffering, making mistakes and failing continuously, thus I really did all of these. Due to my ego, my heart and head was filled up with fears and negative feelings and I just became my own worst enemy. I did not know that I can control my thoughts and am able to choose not to listen to those vicious voices in my head.

It was not until three years ago when my approach to life changed dramatically; I slowly started a kind of awakening that is still in progress. Today, I still have lots of questions and am confused many times but the difference is that I know where to look for the answers. I really enjoy this whole process of creating myself. Finally, I managed to accept my weaknesses but turned to developing my strengths. I already know that I can make better choices by listening to my calling instead of my ego. By simply loving your life with all its positive aspects and downsides you can also start this beautiful journey to find your rhythm, your true self.

First of all, you better drop everything that you feel to be superfluous or unnecessary in your life. I mean literally everything that you think it does not belong to you anymore. Clothes or accessories and any other objects in your home, which do not reflect your personality and might disconnect you from your real self. You might want to change your hairstyle or try wearing completely different kinds of clothes or make-up, something that mirrors who you really are. In my case, one major event that helped me to approach my true self was when I stopped dying my hair. The decision not to be blond anymore was due to an “incidental” fact that I temporarily became allergic to most cosmetic ingredients, so I did not even have any other choice; I had to let my hair grow and wear my natural color after a while. Interestingly, I realized that this color suits me well and does not look as awful at all as I believed it 10 years ago. Apart from things, you might want to say good bye to people who do not really add anything positive to your life. You definitely do not need toxic friends and energy vampires around you. Without friends that are not true to you, you will have to make less effort in order to find your happy self.

image: Pinterest

After you get rid of all the people and things that keep you behind, you can start focusing on doing things that you really enjoy. Now that you threw away all the unwanted objects and stopped seeing the vampires sucking your energy, you have enough space in your home and life to focus on your calling. Try to make some quiet time regularly so that you can listen to yourself. Do things that you love and shortly your questions will be answered. You will simply start making better choices by focusing on seeing who you are and what you really like. Crossroads and decisions will not be major threats in your life any more. You will also understand that you can ignore your ego’s nasty and critical messages and you will learn to turn the volume up when you hear positive and happy thoughts. Brilliant ideas will come and being in the flow will naturally involve moving you forward in discovering yourself. Slowing down and spending time alone does not mean that you are becoming antisocial. Simply, there is too much noise around us and in order to be connected with our rhythm, we need to have some silence from time to time. While you are becoming the person who you really are, you are going to attract likeminded people whose presence and company will fill you up with healthy and positive energy. What else would you need?

Similarly to working out, in case of mindful exercising, you will need to be patient and hardworking. After questioning your abilities, practicing self-doubt and being your own enemy on a daily basis for many-many years, results and positive changes will not come after doing a little meditation or some journaling once or twice. You will have to change your lifestyle, slowly incorporating your calling’s messages into your reality. Make one small and easy step every day to finally create yourself. After solitude and focusing to your inner side becomes a habit, you will notice the changes happening in your life every day.  You will clearly know what your calling is and will automatically go for “MUST”instead of “SHOULD”. Should is all about fears, worries and negative feelings or thoughts; it just keeps you behind. By going for “MUST” you listen to your heart, to the good voices inside your head and do automatically what is best for you.

The spiritual journey of discovering yourself possibly will last until the end of your life, so you better make sure that you enjoy this challenging but wonderful process. Focus on the big picture and get rid of all the fears, worries and unnecessary details that make you stuck in a life that does not belong to you. Surround yourself with positive, supporting and likeminded people but spend some time alone with your thoughts to be able to hear your calling. Finally, choose “must” over “should” in order to feel the rhythm of the person who you really are. Why would you live your life off-track if by doing some extra work you could become your happy and healthy TRUE self? 

About Fear of Success

Being afraid of success is much more common than you might think and can cause as much harm to you as fear of failure. Most people who are phobic about being successful are not aware of the fact that they are their own worst enemies. You might not have heard a lot about fear of success but are familiar with the following terms:

·        self-doubt

·        procrastination

·        self-destruction

All of these feelings and actions are related to fear of success; I will explain you how but first let’s clarify what does fear of success exactly mean. 

First, you need to know that your bodily responses to stress or anxiety, such as increased heart-beat, sweating and quickened breathing, are very similar to those that you experience when you are excited about a job-interview or being promoted. So, the physical symptoms that we produce when being bullied at school (a trauma) are the same that you have when you are enthusiastic about an exciting career-opportunity, for example. After having experienced enough traumas, we just do not want anything similar to happen, so we avoid situations that can involve similar consequences (physical symptoms, e.g.) to those that we faced when going through a trauma.

If you tend to question your skills or abilities when offered a promotion (“Do I really deserve this?”), are convinced of your own unworthiness (“I am a loser.”), often procrastinate when given a complex task the fulfillment of which can lead to professional or personal advancement (“How will I come up to other people’s expectations after having achieved this goal?”) or catch yourself sabotaging your development in your career or personal life (“I don’t want to take risks; I do not want to change.”), you want to avoid self-realization, namely you are afraid of success.

But why are some people afraid of success? How can you be anxious about something positive?

photo: Pinterest

The majority of people experiencing fear of success in their lives is unaware of having this problem as the feeling is unconscious and the reasons behind it could be traced back to the childhood. Similarly to having been bullied at school, you experienced a trauma when your parents had never been satisfied with your achievements or had been doubting your abilities constantly. In this case, you are very likely to practice regular self-doubt and will question your adequacy in your adulthood. Simply, due to some negative experiences in your early years related to opinions about your own capabilities (=not being pretty or smart enough, e.g.) you have false beliefs about yourself and are constantly doubting your skills or talents. Besides not believing in yourself and listening to the voices of self-doubt, you do not want to experience more traumas; hence you tend to avoid situations that can lead to change or anything unexpected.

“If someone is used to feeling bad, feeling good is hard or impossible."                                                                                                             David Krueger

The road to success is risky, hazardous and full of surprises. Some people are afraid of risks and greater responsibility that may come with being successful. Another reason for being scarred of reaching your personal best is being different, therefore not being accepted by others. Being extraordinary can make other people feel jealous and those who want to live up to others’ expectations do not want to experience this; they just want to fit in, not provoking any (either negative or positive) feelings.

Avoiding opportunities that can result in achieving your best involves preventing yourself from what you really want. You are procrastinating, doubting your abilities and destroying yourself in order not to succeed; you are stopping yourself from moving forward in life. Very often people, who are afraid of success, do succeed, however very slowly and they pay the price emotionally and mentally. Practicing self-loathing and self-sabotaging for years need plenty of time, patience and mindfulness to be turned to the reverse. Yet, it is possible to have a healthy relationship with success. First of all, accept your anxiety about achieving something great. It is okay to be nervous when facing new challenges. Second, differentiate between the very similar bodily responses to stress and excitement. Finally, apply mindfulness (e.g. meditation, journaling, etc.) regularly and practice self-love.

Sources:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/

http://money.cnn.com/ (Fortune Magazine, July 8, 1996)

What is the Reason Behind your Failures and Unsuccessful Efforts?

Referring to the previous post, I would like to encourage you to check out Maria Brilaki’s website and watch her video about the power of your thoughts, especially your inner dialogue’s effect on your achievements.

You might have experienced in your life either getting wrong or just few results or not getting results at all. I guess that you have. I honestly have never ever met anyone who has not made any mistakes or wrong decisions in their lives. Although it is really difficult to be objective with yourself when you are in the middle of a crisis, it could be extremely helpful if you tried to support yourself and change the way how you think about your (under)achievements. In the video, Maria suggests to analyze your inner dialogue preceding your decision to take certain actions that lead to failure afterwards.

“If you get bad results, it is because you did not believe in the first place that you can get good results”- says Maria.

If you are practicing self-doubt and are questioning your own success, you waste lots of energy and are not fully focused and committed to achieving your goals. If you change your way of thinking and truly believe that you can get what you want, you are more likely to develop and succeed in the end. This is because you are triggered by the so called “PositivePull”, namely you are not escaping from something negative that you want to avoid; it is exactly the opposite: you are motivated by your self-supporting, positive attitude towards yourself and others. Whenever you enter this circle of your own positive thoughts, you are in the flow and wonderful things will happen!

photo: Pinterest

Before you decide to change or do something, you need to be confident and committed; you need to believe that your actions will lead to success. If you want to live a healthier life, for example, you decide to exercise regularly and eat fresh, healthy and clean food. It sounds so simple, however so many of us have been yo-yoing and giving up diets and sports after a while. The reason why you have not been able to keep doing what you decided to do is that you did not believe that you would be able not to give up your dreams. If you are really focused before you start taking any actions, you are not second-guessing yourself. You are 100% committed to and positive about getting what you want. It can be a healthier and better-looking body or your dream job. If you are insecure and do not believe that you can get a certain job, you are more likely to fail in the interview; simply because you had negative thoughts about yourself and were convinced that you are not qualified or suitable for that position. Maria’s message in this video is the following: 

“You need to believe that you can achieve anything but you need to believe it BEFORE you get it.”

Soon, I am going to introduce you to Caroline Zwick’s really effective method and we will learn how to practice the Positive Pull. 

Welcome to the Rhythm Blog!

• Have you ever felt overexhausted, unmotivated or depressed?
• Do you need some motivation or inspiration?
• Do you have a calling but don't know what to do with it?
• Do you need some support in following through the way to your true self?
• Would you like to live a happier and healthier life?
• Are you planning to change your lifestyle?
• Have you ever wondered about the ways to find balance in your life?
• Are you interested in some useful pieces of advice from the best experts in the wellness and fitness industry?

  

  photo: Pinterest

If your answer is yes, read on!

The Rhythm Blog was created to help people who want to live their lives and don't just let things happen to them. I write to you, who -similarly to me- want to change your lifestyle and are listening to your calling but are still looking for your real passion. If you want to live a happy, healthy and complete life but need some advice, you will find plenty on this blog.

In the posts, I share a collection of unique and useful stories of successful, fearless and happy people and introduce their ideas to you through my own experiences and point of view. They all set wonderful examples for us, who need a "kick"; some motivation and support in following through the ways to find our true self. With presenting the world of the best experts, my blog’s aim is to provide you with relevant and appropriate information in order to help you to create a happy, healthy and balanced life.

My posts on the blog will mostly cover subjects related to mental wellbeing. However, if you follow the Rhythm Blog's facebook page you will not only get fresh wellness & fitness tips (motivational and inspirational quotes, exercising, beauty, healthy eating, recipes, etc.) but also some instant soul-candy in the form of short posts including topics that might be covered in a longer article on the Rhythm Blog. 

I hope that you will enjoy reading the posts and find them useful. I am looking forward to hearing your ideas and opinions; please e-mail me on the Rhythm Blog's facebook page.