Why you do not Have to Fight Insecurity?

Insecurity is a natural human feeling and is there in everyone in order to protect us from REAL danger. Danger is real when your life is literally threatened by someone or something. For example, you are in the street in the middle of the night and have a feeling that someone is chasing you. Suddenly, you become worried and try to figure out what to do. Your heartbeat and breath starts quickening and you speed up your steps as much as you can, in order to save your own life. You can experience very similar bodily responses and worrying thoughts in case of a difficult exam, e.g.: you don’t feel very confident because you think that you have not prepared properly and are afraid of unexpected questions and not being able to pass the test. You also have some bad memories of other exams in the past that you failed. As a consequence, you are getting more and more anxious, nervous and feel very insecure. Simply, you do not believe in your ability to succeed. In this case, it is obvious that your life is safe, yet some nasty psychological barriers are blocking the free flow of your positive thoughts. You doubt your skills and strongly believe that you will fail. Thus, you will.

It is not surprising that with your negative thoughts you invite negative results, is it? Due to your false beliefs, you already see yourself not passing the exam. However, envisioning the positive outcome of some future events can result in your success! Instead of doubting your skills, why do not you support yourself? Good news is that with some preparation and practice you can easily handle any stressful situation without feeling insecure and your success is guaranteed.

You only need to do ONE thing: PLAN!

picture: Pinterest

Let’s continue the example of the difficult exam: you already know the date of the exam well in advance, so you know how much time you have got to study. Prioritize your chores and make a plan! Divide the course material into various segments and decide how much time you would need daily in order to acquire all the knowledge necessary for succeeding. You can also add some other activities to your daily routine, such as making and having some healthy and nutritious food and doing some workout and/or meditation as a reward for doing your job well. Celebrate a little bit after having fulfilled a certain part of your lessons. Also, make sure that you start studying when your motivation is high. Starting with small and easy steps can be really beneficial. Similarly, if your study-amounts are not overwhelming and can be easily learned during the time-periods that you set up for yourself, your success is sure. Just make a detailed plan including everything that is important in your life.

So, you already have a study-plan, a strategy. In your breaks you do some other activities (exercising, meditation) just to clear up your mind. What else would you need?

Think positively and believe in your success while planning already!

Believing in yourself is not as easy as it sounds and similarly to the exam, it requires preparation. As most of us have been practicing negative thinking, such as self-doubt for many-many years, it will take time to change your worrying thoughts to supporting ones. However, thanks to your plan and preparation, soon insecurity will simply fade away; so you don’t even have to fight against it! Accept your present insecurity but set up a strategy to change your way of thinking. Focus on your talents and strengths and remember that just because you failed an exam last time, you can pass another one this time, as now you are well-prepared.

With the help of positive thinking, preparation and practice you do not have to spend time and energy with fighting your fears or trying to beat insecurity. Setting up small, realistic goals, along with your individual strategy will surely result in success. All you need to do is changing your thinking habits. Prepare and believe in the positive outcomes of your actions. There is no real danger, no negative thoughts, thus, there is no insecurity! It is so easy with planning and gradual preparation. You do not have to fight. Just discover and accept your skills and make your unique, individual plan in order to realize what you are dreaming about.

Scarred of Difficult? Try Easy!

What is the connection between small details and great progress? You will see in a minute. You might have realized that whenever you really want to achieve something (=you are extremely motivated to get a certain thing) you can be very creative and are able to come up with several plans in order to realize your dream. Your goal can be either big or small; it does not really matter whether we are talking about losing weight, getting your dream-bag or dream-job. Due to your increased level of motivation, you are enthusiastic and pro-active: you are working on your little project whenever you can; you try to do everything to get what you want.

It is important to catch yourself as soon as you are the most motivated because then you can really work hard and you can save energy and willpower for times when you are not so enthusiastic or are a bit down. For this reason, it is ideal to separate your big aim into small steps. It is always better to start with small and easy because you are more likely to be successful if you have a realistic and achievable mini-project. For example, if I want to lose a significant amount of weight and decide to reach my dream-body in a month’s time with working out 5 times a week and being on a strict diet, I am very likely to give up the whole plan after two weeks because it is simply extremely hard. Especially, if I did not exercise for years and was eating junk food for a while, it is not possible to change my whole lifestyle in one month.

If you want to change something, you need to come up with a detailed plan. Either we talk about losing weight or getting a good job where you can feel useful and appreciated, it always helps if you sit down and think about the followings:

• What do you don’t like in your life and why?
• What do you want to change and why?
• What do you want to achieve and why?

Take a nice notebook and your favourite pen and write down your answers to these questions. You will see, how much a little journaling and self-analysis can help in defining your aims. Break your big plan into small increments and list all the steps that are necessary to reach your goal. It is much easier to focus on small and easy tasks and you are more likely to repeat the steps every day. You are not going to give up exercising or studying after few weeks if you aim to fulfil small and easy challenges. The secret is to do regularly what you planned. If you repeat the steps often, they will become automatisms very quickly and you will not have to use your willpower for these as they are habits already. All the small steps will lead to a huge success in the end. You will be very happy whenever you manage to do what you planned. If you make an exercise-plan, for example, every Sunday, you can easily prioritize and organize your other responsibilities for the whole week. A useful hint: always start as soon as possible because early in the week you are less tired and you are more motivated. As you start using your willpower for duties that you have to do but do not really want to, your level of motivation will decrease and you are more likely to feel too exhausted to exercise or study, e.g.

picture: Garance Doré

So, take a moment to think about your life, decide in what areas you want to change and make a plan. Then separate your big goal into small and easy bits that you can repeat as often as possible. Also, reward yourself and practice self-appreciation! You can be really proud of yourself! You did that 15-min training, wrote the planned 10 pages or read those 5 chapters. Be objective and do not come up whit things that you should have done according to you. Every beginning is a new chance to succeed. It is as good to be a beginner as nice it feels when you achieve your goal. Do not feel ashamed of being a beginner or being fat, slow or unorganized. Guilt and other negative feelings will not help your progress. Be positive and do small and easy tasks regularly. Soon, you will be happy, satisfied and successful.

based on Maria Brilaki’s book: Surprisingly unstuck