Silk Skirt (1)

picture: Pinterest

Fresh, light and sweet spring air came into her bedroom when she opened the windows. She suddenly felt happy and energetic. The gentle breeze lifted up the white lace curtains and the room was now filled with good energy. Her mood now reflected only positive thoughts and feelings. After months of darkness, she finally experienced the light; she felt easy, content and motivated.

She closed her eyes and started to visualise beautiful things: she saw the secret garden; the white, yellow and purple crocus appearing early spring time; the rare off-white daffodils in the corner, in front of the evergreen bushes. Then, she was looking at the tiny, brown, dotty birds dancing around the little pond. She wished she could just get up and walk into the garden and see whether anything had changed at all.

She took a deep breath, held it for few seconds. Then, she exhaled, panting loudly for a long time. She repeated the practice several times, until finally she felt relieved as she let go all the problems through her nostrils.

--to be continued--

Tool-Kit to Surviving Crisis

On the way to living the life of your successful and happy self, you will experience critical moments from time to time in spite of any careful planning or preparation. Every day is a new one and your circumstances may change occasionally. The weather, a bad-hair day, catching the flu, your period, your colleague’s remark, your friend’s unexpectedly long call, an e-mail with bad news, etc. might all affect your mood; it is up to you in what way. It is hard to resist and stick to your newly created habits/diet and daily/weekly routine if some unpleasant events appear in your life. However, it is not impossible, especially if you saved up some motivation and willpower from the times when you kick-started the whole process and felt energetic, powerful and unbeatable.

In the beginning of your lifestyle changing project you are armed with a strong and solid intention and due to this, your motivation levels are above the clouds. Yet, they can easily drop, especially in case of some unfavorable happenings. Whenever you feel stressed, overwhelmed and are about to give up, stop for a second or two. It is so easy to get lost in the rat race. Due to the challenges of your job and/or private life, you are likely to forget about what you really want in life. You need to slow down sometimes and ask yourself, what makes you really happy? Take your time to remind yourself of the reasons of your aims.

• Why did you want to change?
• Why did you start the whole process?
• What have you done so far in order to reach your goal?
• Were your efforts successful?

Be objective and make a list of all the successes that you have gained since you started to put your plans into action. Try to overcome failures quickly knowing that these are just part of your development. Show gratitude; accept what you have reached so far and what you have got at the moment; no matter how few you think you own. Being impatient and greedy will not help you. On the contrary, appreciating the moment and practicing self-love will support you in surviving the difficult periods when you lack motivation. Actually, a small inventory of your recent successes, a quick reminder of your original plans and a little revision of your strategies can keep you going. Relax, take a deep-breath, think a little bit and don’t forget to re-charge your batteries and Voilà: Welcome, my good old friend, Enthusiasm.

Now that you are freshly inspired by your own happiness about your recent results, keep in mind what Maria Brilaki suggested in her latest article. She presented some of the features that differentiate successful people from those who will never succeed. The essence of this video could also be related to this subject. A short summary of the main characteristics of successful people based on these two sources:

1. they stick to their passion
2. they never complain
3. they avoid being negative
4. they don’t give up

Easier said than done, right? Yet, this is their secret, it is so simple and you can do it too.

Until you reach this level where you are in the flow of happiness and success, you are going to work hard on yourself day by day. You can choose the difficult way with fears and insecurity by setting up unrealistic goals and overwhelming yourself with complicated tasks OR you can try easy: you can create a motivating, supporting and loving environment with using positive and inspiring triggers that help you stick to your goals. If your plans are realistic and you are willing to start with small steps, you just need to follow your strategy but don't forget to be flexible and adaptable in case of inconvenient conditions. Now, all what you need is to be social. Share your ideas, plans and latest results with friends and family, so that they can act as mentors or supervisors and can celebrate with you as well. To get you going, you can actually “use” human triggers apart from the tools mentioned above. They can check-in on you regularly and give you some support in the most critical moments.

Summary: Accepting what you have, being patient and showing gratitude can increase your motivation levels in difficult times when you are about to give up. If you create a supporting environment and always choose positivity, success is guaranteed. Prepare for the worst: when you are enthusiastic, spare some motivation for times when you are close to throw in the towel. Finally, ask your friends or family members to help you when you need some extra inspiration. That’s it! 

Sources:
Brilaki, Maria: Surprisingly Unstuck              Kaiser, Shannon: Find Your Happy!

The Four Secrets of Living a Balanced and Beautiful Life

Few months ago on a cold and chilly day in December I was having my morning coffee, browsing on the internet and thinking about my life. That time, I was not happy at all: I did not like my job; I felt useless and thought that no one appreciated me or my efforts. I did not have much free time, however I spent my days off solely with things I had to do but did not enjoy the least, such as grocery shopping, cleaning and doing other household chores. I felt guilty and missed my “previous life” when I felt good, was able to find the time for exercising my creative skills, doing regular workout and meeting friends who really inspired me. 

After I moved to a new country and faced some challenges and unexpected difficulties, I started to lose my interest in my own passions. I felt isolated and simply being stuck into a life that was not exactly the one that I could relate to myself at all. I made a list of things that I was not happy with that time and another one including everything that I am grateful for, my small and big successes from the present and the past. I only needed two slips of paper and a pen. Yet, the mental work that I did became the base of my motivation to finally initiate some serious changes in my lifestyle. I would really recommend doing a little self-analysis to anyone who feels that things are not going quite right in their career and/or private lives. Although recognizing that you need to change is only the first step of a long, exhausting and risky journey, it is the main and most powerful trigger that will keep you going through the process.I made a list of things that I was not happy with that time and another one including everything that I am grateful for, my small and big successes from the present and the past. I only needed two slips of paper and a pen. Yet, the mental work that I did became the base of my motivation to finally initiate some serious changes in my lifestyle. I would really recommend doing a little self-analysis to anyone who feels that things are not going quite right in their career and/or private lives. Although recognizing that you need to change is only the first step of a long, exhausting and risky journey, it is the main and most powerful trigger that will keep you going through the process.

Now, I would like to share the Four Secrets that I encountered at the beginning of my journey towards discovering my real passions:

Experimenting

Regardless what changes you want to invite into your life, you will take risks and decisions that might result in failure. As soon as you step outside of your comfort-zone, you will feel vulnerable and think that “everyone else is doing better than you”. Either you enroll yourself to a course in photography or take up yoga; you will be a beginner in the first times. Starting a change involves making mistakes of which most of us feel ashamed and humiliated. Remember that if you are afraid of adventures and do not dare to experiment, you will never find your true passion, thus you will never experience real happiness and could not live a wholesome life.

Asking for Help

Everyone has been a beginner many-many times in their lives and they always will be from time-to time. No one thinks that it is ridiculous that you cannot do 60 minutes hardcore workout every day or that you should feel ashamed for not knowing how to take a good picture. Others with more experience have good intentions and are happy to give support for those in need. Believing in yourself is the most important thing regarding your happiness but trust in others is also essential. Instead of isolating yourself into perfectionism and self-pride, be social and brave enough to ask for help. Do not feel ashamed of your temporary incompetence or limited results! As your yoga-pals or the other members of the photo-class were once beginners as well, they still remember the challenges of the early days and are looking forward to help you. Accept your limitations but aim for improvement! If you feel overwhelmed, do not be afraid to talk about your problems and turn to other people; they are ready to support you.

picture: Pinterest

Dare to Fail!

While discovering your special talents and developing your skills, it is inevitable to make mistakes or take decisions that sometimes lead to unfavorable outcomes. Accept your failures and be objective! See, analyze and learn from your faults but do not waste too much time with self-doubt and feeling guilty because of having said something wrong, eaten something sugary or skipping your exercise. There are no good or bad decisions, things are not black or white in life. Taking risks might feel unpleasant from time to time but you will not be able to succeed without acknowledging both your failures and successes.

Be Adaptable!

Lifestyle change not only requires planning and organization, but patience and flexibility as well. It is essential to have a strategy in order to convert your old, harmful habits into beneficial ones, but from time-to-time you might need to revise your plan. As you and your general circumstances change, you will have different aims or expectations. If you realize that training in a gym makes you feel uncomfortable, try exercising at home or in the park. As soon as the 15-minutes exercise proves to be to easy for you, do 30 minutes workout every other day! Similarly, if you do not enjoy the journalism course, because you don’t like to read aloud your articles in public, then start a blog and practice writing on your own in the comfort of your home. Whatever new habit you try to employ, make sure that you enjoy the process and be adaptable; planning and organisaton is good but you might want to stop for a minute sometimes and see the results.  Ask yourself how do you really feel and add new or remove undesirable elements. The main thing is to feel good!

Journaling, self-analysis, researching about topics that you are interested in, regular exercising and mental workout can all guide you in the way to find your passion. Since I have been practicing all the above, I have become more familiar with my strengths, skills and talents and managed to invite positive changes in my life. I am simply happier and feel more confident. I found a job where I feel useful and appreciated and spend my free time with things that I really enjoy doing. 

Thanks to the Four Secrets, I have a healthy approach to difficulties in my life and feel being totally in charge for my own happiness.

Why Motivation is not the Key to Success?

Today, I would like to show you an amazing video that I watched recently and it really affected me to the core. Have you ever felt that you just need more motivation or willpower to finally start something new in your life? Personally, I have been blaming myself a lot because I have not really lived the life that I wanted and I have been planning to change this for so long. However, even if I had taken few steps in order to achieve something, I only got limited results or no results at all. Until I watched the video, I thought that the main reason behind my recent failures and lack of success is that I am weak, lazy and not motivated and qualified enough.

As I am a jobseeker at the moment and have faced lots of stressful and unsuccessful job-interviews in the last month, I have had a feeling that I need to change something in order to get the job that I really want. In the video below, one of my favourite life-coaches, Caroline Zwick interviews her friend, Maria Brilaki, who is an engineer, entrepreneur, psychologist, head of the “Fitness Reloaded” project and author of a wonderful book called Surprisingly Unstuck.  Maria talks about habit-creation and the role of motivation and willpower in achieving your goals. You will be surprised to hear Maria saying that motivation actually has almost nothing to do with your success or failure. 

It was a relief to understand that motivation is basically only a tool for finding your inspiration. When you want to change something in your life or want to start something new, in the beginning you are always very enthusiastic and energetic. Due to the high level of motivation you truly believe in yourself and your success. However, as most of us might have experienced in case of New Year’s Resolutions, for example, motivation can easily drop or disappear completely. The reason for this is simple: your level of motivation decreases right after it made you kick-start your new habits.

picture: Fengshuidana

Habits are part of our everyday life, as well as making decisions that is actually a kind of thinking habit. In one of the up-coming posts, I will tell you more about thinking habits, such as the power of thoughts, positive thinking and self-fulfilling prophecies. But now, let’s see why do we create habits at all and what are they for? How can we establish a new habit and why do we struggle to keep on dieting or exercising regularly? If you are interested in these questions and also want to know what planning and organisation has to do with success, click here to watch the video.