Finding Clarity

When I can’t see the wood for the trees, I panic and attract chaos and negativity. On the contrary, clarity makes me feel confident and creates positive vibes in my life. So, I really appreciate it when I can see clearly. As recently I was struggling with seeing the big picture, I stopped and created an action plan to find clarity in my life.

picture: Pinterest

First, I watched Cassie’s “You Are Enough” book-launch party webinar and I learnt what important role clarity plays in your life. When you always keep yourself busy and just can’t stop, you can easily lose track of your initial goals. It’s easy to fall into the trap of sweating the small stuff and being lost in the details. It’s good to slow down from time to time and look back; just checking on what a long way you have come and appreciate your efforts, mistakes and results.

One of the reasons I love journaling is because I can always look at my old notes in the diary and realise how many things I have achieved since I set a certain intention or created a plan to achieve a goal. Even if I can only tick one or two things on the list, I feel so happy and content and empowered. There is nothing more fulfilling than seeing your dreams coming true step-by-step.

It is important to realise that it’s essential to create a plan and organise the steps that you can take working towards your big goal. Once that huge dream is broken down into small and realistic parts, it seems truly achievable. And this can be the most encouraging.

After writing down your goals, creating a plan and starting working on it, it’s good to simply let it go. I have often found myself focusing too hard on certain things that I wanted to invite into my life. I have learnt since then that once you set an intention and have started to make it become a reality, it’s okay to let your hair down and just do things that make you feel happy and involve lots of fun.

It could be cooking, reading, exercise, yoga or just spending time with friends and family or alone. Whatever works for you; anything that you enjoy and makes you forget about your work, problems or the chaos in your life.

Lastly, remember that You Are Doing Enough.

Finding your Way in the Labyrinth of Life

Paul Dolan defines happiness as 

"experiences of pleasure and purpose over the time".

The keywords of Prof. Happy’s definition are experiences and time as he advises to pay attention to living in the moment; i.e. instead of evaluating or comparing our lives to someone else’s or to our own expectations about it, just focus on finding the balance between pleasure and purpose in the present.

Apart from pleasure and purpose, you will encounter other emotions as well, such as pointlessness or pain – says Dolan. Negative feelings are also part of the big picture; so be ready and accept your unpleasant sentiments, as you experience these for a reason. Very often, negative emotions prepare you for something or make you avoid dangerous situations. However, be aware of the difference between necessary negative feelings (e.g. anger) or unnecessary ones, like self-doubt or limiting beliefs about yourself.

To be truly happy, you need to clear your mind, with regular physical exercise, mediation and practicing mindfulness every day.

image:Pinterest

Then, you must stop having expectations about your own happiness. Instead, just live in the moment and accept that life is not black and white. Start living the grey lifestyle; accept your failures and do not regret anything; finally dare to risk and challenge yourself often. You might fail but by focusing on having a good balance of pleasure and purpose in the moment, you will always be able to follow your true passion and be as happy as you should be.

If you need some more guidance in finding more happiness and exploring yourself and your dream-life, check out Caroline Zwick’s blog. She is another amazing expert on mindfulness and self-fulfillment. Her articles and videos have had a really beneficial effect on my transformation into the person who I really am. 

I have just started to discover my true passion in the last couple of years and I would like to share some of the "secrets" that I explored recently; to be as happy as possible, the following are really important:

• Knowing who you really are and what you want in your life
• Setting intentions
• Being positive
• Appreciation and Gratitude
• Living in the moment
• Being courageous; daring to risk and fail
• Trying new things often (especially things that you do not want to do at all)
• Balance between pleasure and purpose 

What would you read about in the next posts? Please share your suggestions in the comments below!

Some Secrets of Finding Happiness

Professor Happy’s top tip for happiness is to find the balance between pleasure and purpose every day. Dolan suggests living a meaningful life which is full of activities; being a conscious, mindful and active protagonist in your story. Doing things that you enjoy, as well as completing tasks that you have to do will lead you to the next level. Once you find your passion, the path that you know that you want to follow, things will start to happen and happiness will come to you.

As soon as you finish every task that you have to or want to, you will be happy and content. You will not feel guilty because you have not done something that you planned to do and will be able to fully focus on enjoying yourself and doing something that gives you pleasure. Missing projects or failing to complete duties regularly can cause serious unhappiness. Similarly, living a life without any goals could result in feeling depressed and hopeless.

image:Pinterest

In her video, Shannon Kaiser advises us to always set intentions in order to be happy. Having goals seems to be the key in finding balance between pleasure and purpose. If you have aims, you actually focus your energies into something that is really important to you. With setting certain intentions, you clearly say what you want in your career, relationship, etc. So, instead of describing what you do not want, you better focus on some really important aims and step on the right path, now. Whatever is your dream job or dream holiday, you can get it by simply saying to the universe that you want them. Once you set clear intentions and start acting, things will happen magically. But first you have to claim the dreams you would like to materialise in your life.

So, in order to be as happy as we could be, instead of wasting time and energy with wanting to be too happy, we just need to allocate our attention appropriately, by focusing on things that we want and are important to us. Set intentions regularly, in order to find balance between pleasure and purpose; act accordingly; fulfill your duties and make sure that you enjoy your free time to experience the most happiness in your life.

Next week, I would like to find out what happiness actually is.  How would you define happiness? When are you happy? When have you been the happiest and why? Please write down in the comments below.

F.O.C.U.S

Focus has always been one of my favourite words but not because I like two-syllable words or photography but for the various layers of meaning in it. What is more, after having read Paul Dolan’s book about designing happiness, I started to get to understand more about what an important role focusing plays in our lives.

picture: Pinterest

Prof. Happy simply says that your happiness depends on how you allocate your attention; i.e. what you focus on. He also claims that “if you are not as happy as you should be, you must be misallocating your attention”, therefore, if you want to maximise your happiness you need to make sure that you give attention to things that actually make you happy. It sounds so simple and easy to follow; so why are most people so unhappy and unsatisfied with their lives?

The answer to this question according to Dolan is that we are trying to be happy with thinking about it too hard.  In our busy lives, we are surrounded by so many distractions that we simply forget that it is actually possible to control how we feel.

Our behaviour is influenced by the environment, the context in which we exist, e.g. by other people’s feedback. However, instead of others’ opinion we better turn to inwards to find the answers. Besides, we tend to either pay too much attention to the past or worry about future events and eliminate present from the centre of our attention. With simple affirmations, we can easily bring our focus back to the present, making our life easy and happy. One example is one of Lousie Hay’s mantras: 

All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation, only good will come. I am safe.

If you want to know what is the key to happiness according to Paul Dolan and what this expert on wellbeing suggests us to pay most attention to, come back to the Rhythm Blog next week. In the meantime, follow our facebook page for some extra inspiration.

Finding your Rhythm

It happened many times in my life that I really struggled with making choices and my things were not quiet right at all. I strongly felt that I needed to change but didn't know what and how to start at all. What is more, whenever I arrived to a major crossroad, and actually had to decide about something , I became confused, started to panic and worried about the consequences of making “wrong” decisions. I already envisioned myself living an unsuccessful life, suffering, making mistakes and failing continuously, thus I really did all of these. Due to my ego, my heart and head was filled up with fears and negative feelings and I just became my own worst enemy. I did not know that I can control my thoughts and am able to choose not to listen to those vicious voices in my head.

It was not until three years ago when my approach to life changed dramatically; I slowly started a kind of awakening that is still in progress. Today, I still have lots of questions and am confused many times but the difference is that I know where to look for the answers. I really enjoy this whole process of creating myself. Finally, I managed to accept my weaknesses but turned to developing my strengths. I already know that I can make better choices by listening to my calling instead of my ego. By simply loving your life with all its positive aspects and downsides you can also start this beautiful journey to find your rhythm, your true self.

First of all, you better drop everything that you feel to be superfluous or unnecessary in your life. I mean literally everything that you think it does not belong to you anymore. Clothes or accessories and any other objects in your home, which do not reflect your personality and might disconnect you from your real self. You might want to change your hairstyle or try wearing completely different kinds of clothes or make-up, something that mirrors who you really are. In my case, one major event that helped me to approach my true self was when I stopped dying my hair. The decision not to be blond anymore was due to an “incidental” fact that I temporarily became allergic to most cosmetic ingredients, so I did not even have any other choice; I had to let my hair grow and wear my natural color after a while. Interestingly, I realized that this color suits me well and does not look as awful at all as I believed it 10 years ago. Apart from things, you might want to say good bye to people who do not really add anything positive to your life. You definitely do not need toxic friends and energy vampires around you. Without friends that are not true to you, you will have to make less effort in order to find your happy self.

image: Pinterest

After you get rid of all the people and things that keep you behind, you can start focusing on doing things that you really enjoy. Now that you threw away all the unwanted objects and stopped seeing the vampires sucking your energy, you have enough space in your home and life to focus on your calling. Try to make some quiet time regularly so that you can listen to yourself. Do things that you love and shortly your questions will be answered. You will simply start making better choices by focusing on seeing who you are and what you really like. Crossroads and decisions will not be major threats in your life any more. You will also understand that you can ignore your ego’s nasty and critical messages and you will learn to turn the volume up when you hear positive and happy thoughts. Brilliant ideas will come and being in the flow will naturally involve moving you forward in discovering yourself. Slowing down and spending time alone does not mean that you are becoming antisocial. Simply, there is too much noise around us and in order to be connected with our rhythm, we need to have some silence from time to time. While you are becoming the person who you really are, you are going to attract likeminded people whose presence and company will fill you up with healthy and positive energy. What else would you need?

Similarly to working out, in case of mindful exercising, you will need to be patient and hardworking. After questioning your abilities, practicing self-doubt and being your own enemy on a daily basis for many-many years, results and positive changes will not come after doing a little meditation or some journaling once or twice. You will have to change your lifestyle, slowly incorporating your calling’s messages into your reality. Make one small and easy step every day to finally create yourself. After solitude and focusing to your inner side becomes a habit, you will notice the changes happening in your life every day.  You will clearly know what your calling is and will automatically go for “MUST”instead of “SHOULD”. Should is all about fears, worries and negative feelings or thoughts; it just keeps you behind. By going for “MUST” you listen to your heart, to the good voices inside your head and do automatically what is best for you.

The spiritual journey of discovering yourself possibly will last until the end of your life, so you better make sure that you enjoy this challenging but wonderful process. Focus on the big picture and get rid of all the fears, worries and unnecessary details that make you stuck in a life that does not belong to you. Surround yourself with positive, supporting and likeminded people but spend some time alone with your thoughts to be able to hear your calling. Finally, choose “must” over “should” in order to feel the rhythm of the person who you really are. Why would you live your life off-track if by doing some extra work you could become your happy and healthy TRUE self?