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Saturday, 10 May 2014

Tool-Kit to Surviving Crisis

On the way to living the life of your successful and happy self, you will experience critical moments from time to time in spite of any careful planning or preparation. Every day is a new one and your circumstances may change occasionally. The weather, a bad-hair day, catching the flu, your period, your colleague’s remark, your friend’s unexpectedly long call, an e-mail with bad news, etc. might all affect your mood; it is up to you in what way. It is hard to resist and stick to your newly created habits/diet and daily/weekly routine if some unpleasant events appear in your life. However, it is not impossible, especially if you saved up some motivation and willpower from the times when you kick-started the whole process and felt energetic, powerful and unbeatable.
In the beginning of your lifestyle changing project you are armed with a strong and solid intention and due to this, your motivation levels are above the clouds. Yet, they can easily drop, especially in case of some unfavorable happenings. Whenever you feel stressed, overwhelmed and are about to give up, stop for a second or two. It is so easy to get lost in the rat race. Due to the challenges of your job and/or private life, you are likely to forget about what you really want in life. You need to slow down sometimes and ask yourself, what makes you really happy? Take your time to remind yourself of the reasons of your aims.
  • Why did you want to change?
  • Why did you start the whole process?
  • What have you done so far in order to reach your goal?
  • Were your efforts successful?
Be objective and make a list of all the successes that you have gained since you started to put your plans into action. Try to overcome failures quickly knowing that these are just part of your development. Show gratitude; accept what you have reached so far and what you have got at the moment; no matter how few you think you own. Being impatient and greedy will not help you. On the contrary, appreciating the moment and practicing self-love will support you in surviving the difficult periods when you lack motivation. Actually, a small inventory of your recent successes, a quick reminder of your original plans and a little revision of your strategies can keep you going. Relax, take a deep-breath, think a little bit and don’t forget to re-charge your batteries and Voilà: Welcome, my good old friend, Enthusiasm.

Now that you are freshly inspired by your own happiness about your recent results, keep in mind what Maria Brilaki suggested in her latest article. She presented some of the features that differentiate successful people from those who will never succeed. The essence of this video could also be related to this subject. A short summary of the main characteristics of successful people based on these two sources:
  1. they stick to their passion
  2. they never complain
  3. they avoid being negative
  4. they don’t give up
Easier said than done, right? Yet, this is their secret, it is so simple and you can do it too.
Until you reach this level where you are in the flow of happiness and success, you are going to work hard on yourself day by day. You can choose the difficult way with fears and insecurity by setting up unrealistic goals and overwhelming yourself with complicated tasks OR you can try easy: you can create a motivating, supporting and loving environment with using positive and inspiring triggers that help you stick to your goals. If your plans are realistic and you are willing to start with small steps, you just need to follow your strategy but don't forget to be flexible and adaptable in case of inconvenient conditions. Now, all what you need is to be social. Share your ideas, plans and latest results with friends and family, so that they can act as mentors or supervisors and can celebrate with you as well. To get you going, you can actually “use” human triggers apart from the tools mentioned above. They can check-in on you regularly and give you some support in the most critical moments.

Summary: Accepting what you have, being patient and showing gratitude can increase your motivation levels in difficult times when you are about to give up. If you create a supporting environment and always choose positivity, success is guaranteed. Prepare for the worst: when you are enthusiastic, spare some motivation for times when you are close to throw in the towel. Finally, ask your friends or family members to help you when you need some extra inspiration. That’s it! 

Brilaki, Maria: Surprisingly Unstuck              Kaiser, Shannon: Find Your Happy!

Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Finding your Rhythm

It happened many times in my life that I really struggled with making choices and my things were not quiet right at all. I strongly felt that I needed to change but didn't know what and how to start at all. What is more, whenever I arrived to a major crossroad, and actually had to decide about something , I became confused, started to panic and worried about the consequences of making “wrong” decisions. I already envisioned myself living an unsuccessful life, suffering, making mistakes and failing continuously, thus I really did all of these. Due to my ego, my heart and head was filled up with fears and negative feelings and I just became my own worst enemy. I did not know that I can control my thoughts and am able to choose not to listen to those vicious voices in my head.

It was not until three years ago when my approach to life changed dramatically; I slowly started a kind of awakening that is still in progress. Today, I still have lots of questions and am confused many times but the difference is that I know where to look for the answers. I really enjoy this whole process of creating myself. Finally, I managed to accept my weaknesses but turned to developing my strengths. I already know that I can make better choices by listening to my calling instead of my ego. By simply loving your life with all its positive aspects and downsides you can also start this beautiful journey to find your rhythm, your true self.

First of all, you better drop everything that you feel to be superfluous or unnecessary in your life. I mean literally everything that you think it does not belong to you anymore. Clothes or accessories and any other objects in your home, which do not reflect your personality and might disconnect you from your real self. You might want to change your hairstyle or try wearing completely different kinds of clothes or make-up, something that mirrors who you really are. In my case, one major event that helped me to approach my true self was when I stopped dying my hair. The decision not to be blond anymore was due to an “incidental” fact that I temporarily became allergic to most cosmetic ingredients, so I did not even have any other choice; I had to let my hair grow and wear my natural color after a while. Interestingly, I realized that this color suits me well and does not look as awful at all as I believed it 10 years ago. Apart from things, you might want to say good bye to people who do not really add anything positive to your life. You definitely do not need toxic friends and energy vampires around you. Without friends that are not true to you, you will have to make less effort in order to find your happy self.

image: Pinterest

After you get rid of all the people and things that keep you behind, you can start focusing on doing things that you really enjoy. Now that you threw away all the unwanted objects and stopped seeing the vampires sucking your energy, you have enough space in your home and life to focus on your calling. Try to make some quiet time regularly so that you can listen to yourself. Do things that you love and shortly your questions will be answered. You will simply start making better choices by focusing on seeing who you are and what you really like. Crossroads and decisions will not be major threats in your life any more. You will also understand that you can ignore your ego’s nasty and critical messages and you will learn to turn the volume up when you hear positive and happy thoughts. Brilliant ideas will come and being in the flow will naturally involve moving you forward in discovering yourself. Slowing down and spending time alone does not mean that you are becoming antisocial. Simply, there is too much noise around us and in order to be connected with our rhythm, we need to have some silence from time to time. While you are becoming the person who you really are, you are going to attract likeminded people whose presence and company will fill you up with healthy and positive energy. What else would you need?

Similarly to working out, in case of mindful exercising, you will need to be patient and hardworking. After questioning your abilities, practicing self-doubt and being your own enemy on a daily basis for many-many years, results and positive changes will not come after doing a little meditation or some journaling once or twice. You will have to change your lifestyle, slowly incorporating your calling’s messages into your reality. Make one small and easy step every day to finally create yourself. After solitude and focusing to your inner side becomes a habit, you will notice the changes happening in your life every day.  You will clearly know what your calling is and will automatically go for “MUST”instead of “SHOULD”. Should is all about fears, worries and negative feelings or thoughts; it just keeps you behind. By going for “MUST” you listen to your heart, to the good voices inside your head and do automatically what is best for you.

The spiritual journey of discovering yourself possibly will last until the end of your life, so you better make sure that you enjoy this challenging but wonderful process. Focus on the big picture and get rid of all the fears, worries and unnecessary details that make you stuck in a life that does not belong to you. Surround yourself with positive, supporting and likeminded people but spend some time alone with your thoughts to be able to hear your calling. Finally, choose “must” over “should” in order to feel the rhythm of the person who you really are. Why would you live your life off-track if by doing some extra work you could become your happy and healthy TRUE self? 

Friday, 25 April 2014

The Four Secrets of Living a Balanced and Beautiful Life

Few months ago on a cold and chilly day in December I was having my morning coffee, browsing on the internet and thinking about my life. That time, I was not happy at all: I did not like my job; I felt useless and thought that no one appreciated me or my efforts. I did not have much free time, however I spent my days off solely with things I had to do but did not enjoy the least, such as grocery shopping, cleaning and doing other household chores. I felt guilty and missed my “previous life” when I felt good, was able to find the time for exercising my creative skills, doing regular workout and meeting friends who really inspired me. 

After I moved to a new country and faced some challenges and unexpected difficulties, I started to lose my interest in my own passions. I felt isolated and simply being stuck into a life that was not exactly the one that I could relate to myself at all. I made a list of things that I was not happy with that time and another one including everything that I am grateful for, my small and big successes from the present and the past. I only needed two slips of paper and a pen. Yet, the mental work that I did became the base of my motivation to finally initiate some serious changes in my lifestyle. I would really recommend doing a little self-analysis to anyone who feels that things are not going quite right in their career and/or private lives. Although recognizing that you need to change is only the first step of a long, exhausting and risky journey, it is the main and most powerful trigger that will keep you going through the process.I made a list of things that I was not happy with that time and another one including everything that I am grateful for, my small and big successes from the present and the past. I only needed two slips of paper and a pen. Yet, the mental work that I did became the base of my motivation to finally initiate some serious changes in my lifestyle. I would really recommend doing a little self-analysis to anyone who feels that things are not going quite right in their career and/or private lives. Although recognizing that you need to change is only the first step of a long, exhausting and risky journey, it is the main and most powerful trigger that will keep you going through the process.

Now, I would like to share the Four Secrets that I encountered at the beginning of my journey towards discovering my real passions:

Regardless what changes you want to invite into your life, you will take risks and decisions that might result in failure. As soon as you step outside of your comfort-zone, you will feel vulnerable and think that “everyone else is doing better than you”. Either you enroll yourself to a course in photography or take up yoga; you will be a beginner in the first times. Starting a change involves making mistakes of which most of us feel ashamed and humiliated. Remember that if you are afraid of adventures and do not dare to experiment, you will never find your true passion, thus you will never experience real happiness and could not live a wholesome life.

Asking for Help
Everyone has been a beginner many-many times in their lives and they always will be from time-to time. No one thinks that it is ridiculous that you cannot do 60 minutes hardcore workout every day or that you should feel ashamed for not knowing how to take a good picture. Others with more experience have good intentions and are happy to give support for those in need. Believing in yourself is the most important thing regarding your happiness but trust in others is also essential. Instead of isolating yourself into perfectionism and self-pride, be social and brave enough to ask for help. Do not feel ashamed of your temporary incompetence or limited results! As your yoga-pals or the other members of the photo-class were once beginners as well, they still remember the challenges of the early days and are looking forward to help you. Accept your limitations but aim for improvement! If you feel overwhelmed, do not be afraid to talk about your problems and turn to other people; they are ready to support you.

picture: Pinterest

Dare to Fail!
While discovering your special talents and developing your skills, it is inevitable to make mistakes or take decisions that sometimes lead to unfavorable outcomes. Accept your failures and be objective! See, analyze and learn from your faults but do not waste too much time with self-doubt and feeling guilty because of having said something wrong, eaten something sugary or skipping your exercise. There are no good or bad decisions, things are not black or white in life. Taking risks might feel unpleasant from time to time but you will not be able to succeed without acknowledging both your failures and successes.

Be Adaptable!
Lifestyle change not only requires planning and organization, but patience and flexibility as well. It is essential to have a strategy in order to convert your old, harmful habits into beneficial ones, but from time-to-time you might need to revise your plan. As you and your general circumstances change, you will have different aims or expectations. If you realize that training in a gym makes you feel uncomfortable, try exercising at home or in the park. As soon as the 15-minutes exercise proves to be to easy for you, do 30 minutes workout every other day! Similarly, if you do not enjoy the journalism course, because you don’t like to read aloud your articles in public, then start a blog and practice writing on your own in the comfort of your home. Whatever new habit you try to employ, make sure that you enjoy the process and be adaptable; planning and organisaton is good but you might want to stop for a minute sometimes and see the results.  Ask yourself how do you really feel and add new or remove undesirable elements. The main thing is to feel good!

Journaling, self-analysis, researching about topics that you are interested in, regular exercising and mental workout can all guide you in the way to find your passion. Since I have been practicing all the above, I have become more familiar with my strengths, skills and talents and managed to invite positive changes in my life. I am simply happier and feel more confident. I found a job where I feel useful and appreciated and spend my free time with things that I really enjoy doing. 

Thanks to the Four Secrets, I have a healthy approach to difficulties in my life and feel being totally in charge for my own happiness.

Sunday, 20 April 2014

Why you do not Have to Fight Insecurity?

Insecurity is a natural human feeling and is there in everyone in order to protect us from REAL danger. Danger is real when your life is literally threatened by someone or something. For example, you are in the street in the middle of the night and have a feeling that someone is chasing you. Suddenly, you become worried and try to figure out what to do. Your heartbeat and breath starts quickening and you speed up your steps as much as you can, in order to save your own life. You can experience very similar bodily responses and worrying thoughts in case of a difficult exam, e.g.: you don’t feel very confident because you think that you have not prepared properly and are afraid of unexpected questions and not being able to pass the test. You also have some bad memories of other exams in the past that you failed. As a consequence, you are getting more and more anxious, nervous and feel very insecure. Simply, you do not believe in your ability to succeed. In this case, it is obvious that your life is safe, yet some nasty psychological barriers are blocking the free flow of your positive thoughts. You doubt your skills and strongly believe that you will fail. Thus, you will.

It is not surprising that with your negative thoughts you invite negative results, is it? Due to your false beliefs, you already see yourself not passing the exam. However, envisioning the positive outcome of some future events can result in your success! Instead of doubting your skills, why do not you support yourself? Good news is that with some preparation and practice you can easily handle any stressful situation without feeling insecure and your success is guaranteed.

You only need to do ONE thing: PLAN!
picture: Pinterest
Let’s continue the example of the difficult exam: you already know the date of the exam well in advance, so you know how much time you have got to study. Prioritize your chores and make a plan! Divide the course material into various segments and decide how much time you would need daily in order to acquire all the knowledge necessary for succeeding. You can also add some other activities to your daily routine, such as making and having some healthy and nutritious food and doing some workout and/or meditation as a reward for doing your job well. Celebrate a little bit after having fulfilled a certain part of your lessons. Also, make sure that you start studying when your motivation is high. Starting with small and easy steps can be really beneficial. Similarly, if your study-amounts are not overwhelming and can be easily learned during the time-periods that you set up for yourself, your success is sure. Just make a detailed plan including everything that is important in your life.

So, you already have a study-plan, a strategy. In your breaks you do some other activities (exercising, meditation) just to clear up your mind. What else would you need?

Think positively and believe in your success while planning already!

Believing in yourself is not as easy as it sounds and similarly to the exam, it requires preparation. As most of us have been practicing negative thinking, such as self-doubt for many-many years, it will take time to change your worrying thoughts to supporting ones. However, thanks to your plan and preparation, soon insecurity will simply fade away; so you don’t even have to fight against it! Accept your present insecurity but set up a strategy to change your way of thinking. Focus on your talents and strengths and remember that just because you failed an exam last time, you can pass another one this time, as now you are well-prepared.

With the help of positive thinking, preparation and practice you do not have to spend time and energy with fighting your fears or trying to beat insecurity. Setting up small, realistic goals, along with your individual strategy will surely result in success. All you need to do is changing your thinking habits. Prepare and believe in the positive outcomes of your actions. There is no real danger, no negative thoughts, thus, there is no insecurity! It is so easy with planning and gradual preparation. You do not have to fight. Just discover and accept your skills and make your unique, individual plan in order to realize what you are dreaming about.

Friday, 18 April 2014

Make a Habit of Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is a habit and you can create it for yourself. It will take some time and you will have to practice it regularly until it becomes automatic and part of your everyday life but it is worth as it can really set you free and move you towards your real purpose. There are plenty of experiences, impressions and assumptions that usually influence your thoughts. Other people’s opinions, criticism, feedback from your supervisors, social expectations, media, etc. all affect the picture that you have in mind about yourself.

image: Pinterest

We all have beliefs; however beliefs are tricky because they are just psychological barriers and have nothing to do with reality. Our assumptions about ourselves are mostly based on other people’s reactions to our existence in the world. If you try to be objective with yourself and decide to test the beliefs that you have about your personality, skills or ability, you will see that your true self has not so much in common with that person who appears as “you” in front of your family, friends or colleagues. Remove the “noise” (negativity, fears, false beliefs, etc.) and try to examine your thoughts as if they were another person’s views about herself. It is hard to see yourself as an outsider but this way and with some time and practice it is possible to be positive and objective about yourself.

Fear and false assumptions distract you from being able to focus on the thoughts that can really move you forward. Change your inner dialogue and approve of yourself. Celebrate your results every day, no matter how small or big they are. Give some more support to yourself by letting negativity go. Practice positive thinking every day and create a new habit that will help you to see and enjoy the whole process called LIFE.

How will you start praciticing positive thinking?

Thursday, 10 April 2014

About Fear of Success

Being afraid of success is much more common than you might think and can cause as much harm to you as fear of failure. Most people who are phobic about being successful are not aware of the fact that they are their own worst enemies. You might not have heard a lot about fear of success but are familiar with the following terms:

·        self-doubt
·        procrastination
·        self-destruction

All of these feelings and actions are related to fear of success; I will explain you how but first let’s clarify what does fear of success exactly mean. 

First, you need to know that your bodily responses to stress or anxiety, such as increased heart-beat, sweating and quickened breathing, are very similar to those that you experience when you are excited about a job-interview or being promoted. So, the physical symptoms that we produce when being bullied at school (a trauma) are the same that you have when you are enthusiastic about an exciting career-opportunity, for example. After having experienced enough traumas, we just do not want anything similar to happen, so we avoid situations that can involve similar consequences (physical symptoms, e.g.) to those that we faced when going through a trauma.

If you tend to question your skills or abilities when offered a promotion (“Do I really deserve this?”), are convinced of your own unworthiness (“I am a loser.”), often procrastinate when given a complex task the fulfillment of which can lead to professional or personal advancement (“How will I come up to other people’s expectations after having achieved this goal?”) or catch yourself sabotaging your development in your career or personal life (“I don’t want to take risks; I do not want to change.”), you want to avoid self-realization, namely you are afraid of success.

But why are some people afraid of success? How can you be anxious about something positive?
photo: Pinterest
The majority of people experiencing fear of success in their lives is unaware of having this problem as the feeling is unconscious and the reasons behind it could be traced back to the childhood. Similarly to having been bullied at school, you experienced a trauma when your parents had never been satisfied with your achievements or had been doubting your abilities constantly. In this case, you are very likely to practice regular self-doubt and will question your adequacy in your adulthood. Simply, due to some negative experiences in your early years related to opinions about your own capabilities (=not being pretty or smart enough, e.g.) you have false beliefs about yourself and are constantly doubting your skills or talents. Besides not believing in yourself and listening to the voices of self-doubt, you do not want to experience more traumas; hence you tend to avoid situations that can lead to change or anything unexpected.

“If someone is used to feeling bad, feeling good is hard or impossible."                                                                                                             David Krueger
The road to success is risky, hazardous and full of surprises. Some people are afraid of risks and greater responsibility that may come with being successful. Another reason for being scarred of reaching your personal best is being different, therefore not being accepted by others. Being extraordinary can make other people feel jealous and those who want to live up to others’ expectations do not want to experience this; they just want to fit in, not provoking any (either negative or positive) feelings.

Avoiding opportunities that can result in achieving your best involves preventing yourself from what you really want. You are procrastinating, doubting your abilities and destroying yourself in order not to succeed; you are stopping yourself from moving forward in life. Very often people, who are afraid of success, do succeed, however very slowly and they pay the price emotionally and mentally. Practicing self-loathing and self-sabotaging for years need plenty of time, patience and mindfulness to be turned to the reverse. Yet, it is possible to have a healthy relationship with success. First of all, accept your anxiety about achieving something great. It is okay to be nervous when facing new challenges. Second, differentiate between the very similar bodily responses to stress and excitement. Finally, apply mindfulness (e.g. meditation, journaling, etc.) regularly and practice self-love.

http://money.cnn.com/ (Fortune Magazine, July 8, 1996)

Monday, 7 April 2014

Negative Push VS Positive Pull

I promised to introduce you to Caroline Zwick’s simple but effective method, the so called “Positive Pull”. Since I discovered that I have this tool (similarly to you) my life has started to change radically. It happened to me many times in my life that after a certain failure I was not able to overcome my negative feelings resulting from experiencing disappointment, self-doubt and dissatisfaction. I created thick walls out of my negative feelings and self- destructive thoughts, and closed myself into a small cabin of harmful spirits. Then, it took me for a good while to realize that all the beautiful things are waiting for me outside. I needed lots of willpower to remove the walls and get rid of the bad feelings that paralyzed me.

One day I found Caroline’s website and signed up to get the free handout about the Positive Pull. According to her, each and every one of us has this tool; we are just very likely to ignore our ability to create our own happiness. Due to the stressful modern lifestyle most of us are trying to escape from something, i. e. we are pushed by our negative feelings, we put ourselves under pressure. Let's examine my case: I was not happy with my job; I did not feel appreciated or useful and wanted some change and challenge. I started to work on my CV and look for a job. I was very enthusiastic, however had many bad feelings about my job at that time and doubted my abilities constantly. I put out lots of negative energy into the world and for this reason you can guess what did I get back? Awful experiences, plenty of unsuccessful job interviews, panic, sadness, depression… I wanted to change my job and my lifestyle but did not take the right decisions until I learned about the Positive Pull.
image: Pinterest

As soon as I started to think about the questions that you can find in Caroline’s free handout, I realized that instead of focusing on what I don’t like and want to avoid in my life, I should envision what I really want. I started to do mindful practices regularly and concentrated on things that I liked and wanted to attract. Slowly-slowly, my life has changed simply by imagining my happy and confident self. I rememebered what made me really happy in the past and started to practice creative writing, regular exercising, did more reading; I went to museums and parks and discovered the world around me. I just took a deep breath, started to think about what I like and ACTED accordingly. It sounds so simple but I know how hard it is when you are in a difficult situation and don’t see the wood for the trees.

I can strongly recommend you to sign up and get the free guide. As soon as you start thinking about the answers for the questions in the exercise sheet, you will see how easily and quickly you can change your way of thinking about your life and yourself. Once you create the Positive Pull, you will keep using it all the time. It is simple, easy and free.

Saturday, 5 April 2014

Scarred of Difficult? Try Easy!

What is the connection between small details and great progress? You will see in a minute. You might have realized that whenever you really want to achieve something (=you are extremely motivated to get a certain thing) you can be very creative and are able to come up with several plans in order to realize your dream. Your goal can be either big or small; it does not really matter whether we are talking about losing weight, getting your dream-bag or dream-job. Due to your increased level of motivation, you are enthusiastic and pro-active: you are working on your little project whenever you can; you try to do everything to get what you want.

It is important to catch yourself as soon as you are the most motivated because then you can really work hard and you can save energy and willpower for times when you are not so enthusiastic or are a bit down. For this reason, it is ideal to separate your big aim into small steps. It is always better to start with small and easy because you are more likely to be successful if you have a realistic and achievable mini-project. For example, if I want to lose a significant amount of weight and decide to reach my dream-body in a month’s time with working out 5 times a week and being on a strict diet, I am very likely to give up the whole plan after two weeks because it is simply extremely hard. Especially, if I did not exercise for years and was eating junk food for a while, it is not possible to change my whole lifestyle in one month.

If you want to change something, you need to come up with a detailed plan. Either we talk about losing weight or getting a good job where you can feel useful and appreciated, it always helps if you sit down and think about the followings:
  • What do you don’t like in your life and why?
  • What do you want to change and why?
  • What do you want to achieve and why?
Take a nice notebook and your favourite pen and write down your answers to these questions. You will see, how much a little journaling and self-analysis can help in defining your aims. Break your big plan into small increments and list all the steps that are necessary to reach your goal. It is much easier to focus on small and easy tasks and you are more likely to repeat the steps every day. You are not going to give up exercising or studying after few weeks if you aim to fulfil small and easy challenges. The secret is to do regularly what you planned. If you repeat the steps often, they will become automatisms very quickly and you will not have to use your willpower for these as they are habits already. All the small steps will lead to a huge success in the end. You will be very happy whenever you manage to do what you planned. If you make an exercise-plan, for example, every Sunday, you can easily prioritize and organize your other responsibilities for the whole week. A useful hint: always start as soon as possible because early in the week you are less tired and you are more motivated. As you start using your willpower for duties that you have to do but do not really want to, your level of motivation will decrease and you are more likely to feel too exhausted to exercise or study, e.g.

picture: Garance Doré

So, take a moment to think about your life, decide in what areas you want to change and make a plan. Then separate your big goal into small and easy bits that you can repeat as often as possible. Also, reward yourself and practice self-appreciation! You can be really proud of yourself! You did that 15-min training, wrote the planned 10 pages or read those 5 chapters. Be objective and do not come up whit things that you should have done according to you. Every beginning is a new chance to succeed. It is as good to be a beginner as nice it feels when you achieve your goal. Do not feel ashamed of being a beginner or being fat, slow or unorganized. Guilt and other negative feelings will not help your progress. Be positive and do small and easy tasks regularly. Soon, you will be happy, satisfied and successful.

based on Maria Brilaki’s book: Surprisingly unstuck 

Thursday, 3 April 2014

What is the Reason Behind your Failures and Unsuccessful Efforts?

Referring to the previous post, I would like to encourage you to check out Maria Brilaki’s website and watch her video about the power of your thoughts, especially your inner dialogue’s effect on your achievements.

You might have experienced in your life either getting wrong or just few results or not getting results at all. I guess that you have. I honestly have never ever met anyone who has not made any mistakes or wrong decisions in their lives. Although it is really difficult to be objective with yourself when you are in the middle of a crisis, it could be extremely helpful if you tried to support yourself and change the way how you think about your (under)achievements. In the video, Maria suggests to analyze your inner dialogue preceding your decision to take certain actions that lead to failure afterwards.

“If you get bad results, it is because you did not believe in the first place that you can get good results”- says Maria.

If you are practicing self-doubt and are questioning your own success, you waste lots of energy and are not fully focused and committed to achieving your goals. If you change your way of thinking and truly believe that you can get what you want, you are more likely to develop and succeed in the end. This is because you are triggered by the so called “PositivePull”, namely you are not escaping from something negative that you want to avoid; it is exactly the opposite: you are motivated by your self-supporting, positive attitude towards yourself and others. Whenever you enter this circle of your own positive thoughts, you are in the flow and wonderful things will happen!

photo: Pinterest

Before you decide to change or do something, you need to be confident and committed; you need to believe that your actions will lead to success. If you want to live a healthier life, for example, you decide to exercise regularly and eat fresh, healthy and clean food. It sounds so simple, however so many of us have been yo-yoing and giving up diets and sports after a while. The reason why you have not been able to keep doing what you decided to do is that you did not believe that you would be able not to give up your dreams. If you are really focused before you start taking any actions, you are not second-guessing yourself. You are 100% committed to and positive about getting what you want. It can be a healthier and better-looking body or your dream job. If you are insecure and do not believe that you can get a certain job, you are more likely to fail in the interview; simply because you had negative thoughts about yourself and were convinced that you are not qualified or suitable for that position. Maria’s message in this video is the following: 
“You need to believe that you can achieve anything but you need to believe it BEFORE you get it.”

Soon, I am going to introduce you to Caroline Zwick’s really effective method and we will learn how to practice the Positive Pull. 

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Why Motivation is not the Key to Success?

Today, I would like to show you an amazing video that I watched recently and it really affected me to the core. Have you ever felt that you just need more motivation or willpower to finally start something new in your life? Personally, I have been blaming myself a lot because I have not really lived the life that I wanted and I have been planning to change this for so long. However, even if I had taken few steps in order to achieve something, I only got limited results or no results at all. Until I watched the video, I thought that the main reason behind my recent failures and lack of success is that I am weak, lazy and not motivated and qualified enough.

As I am a jobseeker at the moment and have faced lots of stressful and unsuccessful job-interviews in the last month, I have had a feeling that I need to change something in order to get the job that I really want. In the video below, one of my favourite life-coaches, Caroline Zwick interviews her friend, Maria Brilaki, who is an engineer, entrepreneur, psychologist, head of the “Fitness Reloaded” project and author of a wonderful book called Surprisingly Unstuck.  Maria talks about habit-creation and the role of motivation and willpower in achieving your goals. You will be surprised to hear Maria saying that motivation actually has almost nothing to do with your success or failure. 

It was a relief to understand that motivation is basically only a tool for finding your inspiration. When you want to change something in your life or want to start something new, in the beginning you are always very enthusiastic and energetic. Due to the high level of motivation you truly believe in yourself and your success. However, as most of us might have experienced in case of New Year’s Resolutions, for example, motivation can easily drop or disappear completely. The reason for this is simple: your level of motivation decreases right after it made you kick-start your new habits.

picture: Fengshuidana

Habits are part of our everyday life, as well as making decisions that is actually a kind of thinking habit. In one of the up-coming posts, I will tell you more about thinking habits, such as the power of thoughts, positive thinking and self-fulfilling prophecies. But now, let’s see why do we create habits at all and what are they for? How can we establish a new habit and why do we struggle to keep on dieting or exercising regularly? If you are interested in these questions and also want to know what planning and organisation has to do with success, click here to watch the video.

Monday, 31 March 2014

Welcome to the Rhythm Blog!

  • Have you ever felt overexhausted, unmotivated or depressed?
  • Do you need some motivation or inspiration?
  • Do you have a calling but don't know what to do with it?
  • Do you need some support in following through the way to your true self?
  • Would you like to live a happier and healthier life?
  • Are you planning to change your lifestyle?
  • Have you ever wondered about the ways to find balance in your life?
  • Are you interested in some useful pieces of advice from the best experts in the wellness and fitness industry?
    photo: Pinterest
If your answer is yes, read on!
The Rhythm Blog was created to help people who want to live their lives and don't just let things happen to them. I write to you, who -similarly to me- want to change your lifestyle and are listening to your calling but are still looking for your real passion. If you want to live a happy, healthy and complete life but need some advice, you will find plenty on this blog.

In the posts, I share a collection of unique and useful stories of successful, fearless and happy people and introduce their ideas to you through my own experiences and point of view. They all set wonderful examples for us, who need a "kick"; some motivation and support in following through the ways to find our true self. With presenting the world of the best experts, my blog’s aim is to provide you with relevant and appropriate information in order to help you to create a happy, healthy and balanced life.

My posts on the blog will mostly cover subjects related to mental wellbeing. However, if you follow the Rhythm Blog's facebook page you will not only get fresh wellness & fitness tips (motivational and inspirational quotes, exercising, beauty, healthy eating, recipes, etc.) but also some instant soul-candy in the form of short posts including topics that might be covered in a longer article on the Rhythm Blog

I hope that you will enjoy reading the posts and find them useful. I am looking forward to hearing your ideas and opinions; please e-mail me on the Rhythm Blog's facebook page.